It is temporary. That’s the nature of dating in Dubai. Despite the false and frequent advertising from women seeking meaningful, long-lasting connections and wanting to have “deep conversations,” their statements are inaccurate. And conversely, the alleged putrid selections presented by men to women are equally as inconsistent and unreliable. These hypocritical mindsets, coupled with the general landscape of Dubai, that of it being business-oriented, have given birth to momentary dating. That is to date multiple people for a short period of time.

It might sound perverse or soulless, but this is how the tide is flowing. From my experience, it is pointless to swim against the tide. Going with the flow is the ethos of Dubai, and naturally, it will translate into the dating culture. It is, however, important to remind yourself of what you are about: your beliefs, morals, ethics, values, etc. Because, at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself. You wouldn’t enjoy being labeled or earning the reputation of “fuckboy” or “slut” due to the negative energetic weight they will carry on your soul. So the ideal way to approach any potential date is to remind the person you are attempting to court of the social landscape and your intention.

The intention that doesn’t go beyond the present. Meaning not dragging the baggage from the past and not looking too far ahead into the future. Given there are no crystal balls and that the only certainty is that the future only presents the likelihood of uncertainties. The best course of action is to appreciate what the two of you share in the moment. That you enjoy her company as much as she is enjoying yours. And that both of you are willing to expand on this mutual understanding to maximize the enjoyment. It isn’t complicated.

What makes it complicated are the looming sexual fears. The classic concerns of the presumed sexual encounters can be evaporated simply by communicating in the moment what you both desire. I find it to be perfectly reasonable not to have sex on the first date, but a missed opportunity if the enjoyable and delightful date didn’t culminate in some amorous exchange. Whether it was a warm hug or a gentle make-out session. There was even a proposed idea by the celebrity philosopher/thinker Slavoj Zizek regarding the dilution of sexual fears, whereby he suggested the people on a date would plug in a vibrator and the female genitalia equivalent machine and have the machines perform the act while those on a date could concentrate and talk. So the act would be in the background, and they would be able to focus on getting to know each other.

Dating isn’t complicated; it’s a matter of framing and positioning yourself as a unique voice who happens to be swimming in the same pool and not going against the current. In order to cement your positioning, it’s important that you state and obviously believe that you are a natural person seeking to flourish in a blossoming relationship. It’s a line that seems to get the most traction with those who are tired of the intellectually deficient and emotionally distant. It’s the elevated way of saying that you are a nice person looking for a nice person who is willing to take a chance. Willing to risk the attacks on the heart should it all collapse. But it cannot stress the following enough: it is imperative to be honest even if it should work against you. This will save everyone time, energy, and money.

What makes dating complicated is people. This obsession with dragging the excess baggage from the past not only shapes the mindset entering the date in a negative aspect but also deters any room for flexibility. Knowing that perfection doesn’t exist but desiring it in a partner is delusional. To take a step forward with illogical shoes will naturally result in a catastrophe. The other complication is lustful desire. Looking ahead at the future with the illusionary premise that they won’t change their mind and that sustainability is a given based on the two of you sharing a delightful time.

The trick of dating is to figure out how to evacuate the desperation of your loneliness and not display your neediness. Which is easy once you dispense with expectations and the allure of analyzing predictive outcomes. While dating is a meaningless, emotionless, horny, and lonely exercise, there is a lot of personal growth that can take place. On rare occasions, you might find someone who would want to stick around for the long haul. Incredibly unlikely in these business-oriented times. It is important to remember that love as a noun is a weakness and that love as a verb is a superpower. To love someone is daunting and will create weaknesses known as vulnerabilities in your defenses. Which is why it is important to dive and not fret about the fall. You’ve already learned how to get up and keep on walking.