The Kardashians arrived in Providenciales, the most populated of the Turks & Caicos archipelago in the British West Virgin Islands, just hours after us, hitting the ground running so to speak and ready to rock ‘n roll.

"Unfortunately," said Gregg Snyder, who was organizing our evening, after taking a call in the lobby of the Turquoise, the Club Med resort where we were staying, "the Kardashians are heading straight to Da Conch Shack & Rum Bar, where we have reservations."

Several of the women in our group grew excited, chatting about selfies with the stars and imagining Kim and Kylee talking about fashion and make-up—as if those glamorous siblings were looking to make friends with a group of Midwesterners in floral dresses and big straw hats. The men all had stunned looks, like learning their lottery ticket had just been drawn. As if the sisters were looking for replacements for the rock stars and NBA players in their lives and would choose from amongst them. I thought to myself, "It's not going to happen," but I kept my mouth shut.

Gregg had more news—none of it good. The Kardashians and their entourage and camera crew would be taking up the entire restaurant and besides, they didn’t want strangers (okay, didn’t want people who weren’t hip and cool) hanging with them. Our reservation was changed to the next night.

In other words, there would be no snapshots with Kendall or Khloé to post on Instagram or Facebook accounts.

Tonight, we’d dine at the resort, but Gregg added, trying to make the best of it, there was conch chowder on the menu and at least we got the message about canceling before leaving for the restaurant. As if that made up for it.

And so it wasn’t until the next evening that we traveled the two lane road running parallel to the azure waters of the Caribbean to Blue Hills Beach, one of the three original settlements on Provo, as the island is called, to Da Conch Shack, one of the go-to places for both locals and tourists.

Conch, as it turns out, is a major ingredient on these islands, and after ordering drinks, the owner led us to the water’s edge, where there were piles of freshly netted queen conchs, their spiral shells edged in a rosy, pink color. This was our dinner waiting to be cooked. "Sea to table," I guess, would be the way to describe it.

Though there are other offerings, including burgers, steaks, and lobster, conch is king (or should I say queen?) dominating the menu at Da Conch Shack with an extensive list of creative preparations. Think Conch Creole, curried conch, coconut conch stew, and Pirate’s Pot, a restaurant special served in a cast iron pot every night but Wednesday, made with lobster, conch, fish, and shrimp in a ginger soy sauce.

And while we may think of the Kardashians as red carpet types partying in glitzy settings, Da Conch Shack is pretty casual, with its packed sand floor, pink-lit bar, picnic tables painted in bright colors, and hand-painted signs. I mean, how many restaurants do you visit where you get sand in your shoes while indoors?

But it’s grand compared to the Bugaloos on Five Cays Beach further along the coast, where we stop the next day while taking a tour of the island. A haphazardly constructed hut with a tarpaper roof and squares cut out of particle board for windows but no glass, it looks like it could blow away in a strong wind. But I’d been there years ago on my last trip to the island, so it must be sturdier than it appears or else they rebuilt it exactly as it was.

It’s an all-in-one kitchen dining room concept: a grill in one corner and a few plastic tables and chairs in one small room—the main eating is outside, including a few tables sitting in the water. In one direction are sailboats plying the ocean and in the other, a cemetery. An interesting juxtaposition and odd use of prime real estate.

The restaurant is empty without even a cook when we arrive but having been there before, I reassure the others that someone is probably in back pulling conch out of the water. Indeed, within minutes, a man appears holding two conchs above his head like prizes just won. He tosses them on a scarred wood table—the food prep area, obviously. Pulling out a wicked-looking knife, he deftly cuts out the meat, tossing the shell atop a six-foot-tall pile, its previous owners all of whom had met the same fate.

I go for the grilled conch with garlic sauce. There’s no written menu, but I see garlic and I see a grill. It’s that easy.

As for the Kardashians, they don’t show up here. Nor are they at Mackey’s, another casual dining spot where I order more conch, but others opt for goat curry and crack chicken.

There are other things to do in the Turks & Caicos besides dine on conch and swim in travel poster perfect waters.

Early one morning we put on swimwear and beach cover-ups, made sure the cameras are charged and drove to Blue Haven Marina in the Leeward Settlement area on the northeast tip of the island. The crew is waiting for us aboard the 77-foot Atabeyra, once a trading schooner making its way from Hispaniola and the archipelago carrying fresh produce and other commodities, and now a tourist charter.

The 4.5-hour cruise takes us out to the Barrier Reef and along the Caico Cay chain, a series of small, low-lying islands formed atop a coral reef. At Dellis Cay we anchor and snorkel for sand dollars in the crystal clear water—this is one Caribbean destination whose brochures lie—the waters are even more blue and green than in the color photographs.

We spot dolphins on the way to Salt Cay, a mostly uninhabited island. Just over 100 or so people live here and there are few cars and fewer roads. It’s beautiful and peaceful, with swaying palms and ocean breezes but the kind of place where you’d really have to like being on your own.

On Little Water Cay, notable for its many rock iguanas that thrive in the marshy mangrove swamps here, we walk along the elevated boardwalk, keeping us from sinking in the muck as we do.

After that, it’s a tack or two into the sunset as we glide through the calm waters of Grace Bay back towards Providenciales, docking just in time to read the headlines that the Kardashians had left the islands.