This article was written with the contribution of Professor Donata Francescato.

The ramifications of today’s emphasis on the individual amaze us. Spending more time in individualistic modes of being leaves less time for the "we" in terms of family, neighbors, friends, our communities, and society as a whole. Today, globally, the average individual spends six hours and 40 minutes on screen time per day. Indeed, we also do multitasking, but watching the screen individually takes away from the time we have for live interactions. What are the enablers of individualism?

Individual values and impacts on the economy in the US

The American value system prioritizes money and career. In a survey asking people to rate what gave their life meaning, researchers found that more people mentioned career and money (57%) than friends or religion (39%)1. Therefore, the individual in the US is highly motivated to make money and advance their career.

The money maker wants to enjoy their efforts and spend their money. Business has created a consumer’s paradise, where one can find thousands of products and services, available on short notice and delivered to your home, ensuring satisfaction without delay. Look at the shopping categories on Amazon: electronics, computers, smart home, arts & crafts, automotive, baby, beauty and personal care, women’s fashion, men’s fashion, girls’ fashion, boys’ fashion, health and household, home and kitchen, industrial and scientific, luggage, movies & television, pet supplies, software, sports and outdoors, tools & home improvement, toys and games, and video games. Is anything missing? Very little.

However, in America, the rich dominate. For example, the upper 10 percent of income earners account for 50 percent of consumption. Thirty-six million people live in poverty, 10.6 percent of the population. And 19.3 percent of the households earn less than $35,000 per year.

The 20 percent of the population that struggles to make ends meet remains frustrated with minimal spending in a consumer’s paradise. This difference is compounded by millions who have only a high school diploma or less. College graduates live approximately seven years longer on average than those who only complete high school. Thirty-eight percent of adults (ages 25 and older) have only a high school education or no high school education. These are 95 million people, many of whom become depressed and angry. Part of the MAGA population comes from this group and was overjoyed in a leader who vindicated them from the snobby college-educated class. However, both groups remain rather self-centered, not forgetting the economic elite that continues to bring us climate warming and a president trying to destroy institutions that limit his personal ambitions, bullying his opponents.

Relations between persons and polarization

The emphasis on individualism leads to increased divisiveness. Particularly through social media, we can find ourselves in "social bubbles," exchanging views primarily with those who share similar outlooks. With greater uncertainty in the world, the perceived potential solutions become more extreme (and often simplified), and the level of certainty of the moral position increases. This provides a sense of greater control, offsetting the uncertainty. And it becomes personalized. "If you disagree with me, you are a bad person." Politicians often exacerbate this divisiveness with aggressive language and by attacking rival parties. Then there remains the issue of belief in simple solutions to complex problems. Neither the right nor the left can benefit from this methodological error.

What are possible solutions to this divisiveness? "There isn't one single, simple solution to the problem of polarization. It is certainly important that people are shown that simple solutions for complex problems are often false solutions and that they have to look for nuance," says Prof. Van Prooijen2. “And that they must learn to deal with uncertainty,” Prof. Paccillo adds. “Maybe that should be taught to children in primary or secondary school, just like we have started teaching them financial literacy nowadays. We also have to counter the impact of echo chambers.

My current research shows that the more isolated people are, the more susceptible they are to uncertainty. We need places where people can come together to talk about things and hear from a diverse range of opinions. Physically, online contact does not work in this case. I believe democracy is about maintaining the conversation. Not to change people immediately, but to find similarities. Not to exclude points of view but to discuss them"2.

The rise in singlehood and impact on younger generations

A recent dossier by The Economist3 documents the rise of singlehood throughout the rich world. Fewer people are hooking up and shacking up. Since 2010, the share of people living alone has risen in 26 out of 30 wealthy countries. Among Americans aged 25-34, the proportion living without a spouse or partner has doubled in the last 50 years to 50% for men and 41% for women. Members of the pro-natalist movement think that the choice to avoid procreation threatens to end Western civilization. On the contrary, some say that avoiding coupling helps ambitious young women develop greater self-reliance.

Today, many barriers to women in the workplace have fallen, and they can live alone if they desire, they can support themselves financially, and they are less prone to put up with inadequate or abusive partners. More women want mates who are well-educated and financially solid, but men have fallen behind women in education. Men with no college degree and low earnings struggle to find a partner and start to dislike women. Since young single men commit more violent crimes, a less coupled world could become more dangerous.

Others fear that living solo can be not only liberating but also lonely. Surveys in various countries indicate 60-73% would rather be in a relationship, but they despair of finding a suitable partner. Some believe that social media and dating apps have created unrealistic expectations, while others argue that people spend more of their lives watching screens and socialize less in person, failing to develop essential social skills. A new profit-making opportunity is growing.

AI companions that could replace human companionship

New industries are inventing a wide variety of AI companions that replace human companionship because they will always respond positively. Various apps have different aims; for instance, Replika asks users questions and offers support for real-life problems, while Character AI uses historical and fictional figures, such as Leonardo Da Vinci and Super Mario. Several sites create interactive, AI-generated erotic pornography. The Centre for Democracy and Technology has explored how high school students used AI companions: primarily for mental health support, friendship, and escape from real life (40%), and, for fewer students (20%), for romantic relationships.

The few researchers who have studied the effects of AI companions have found conflicting results. Julian De Freitas of the Harvard Business School found that talking with an AI friend reduced loneliness more than watching YouTube, but scholars at MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) found that greater use of ChatGPT correlated with increased loneliness. In China and South Korea, AI companions have assisted elderly individuals who live alone and in care homes. Some firms are creating digital assistants who can also book flights and answer emails. The Economist journalists3 warn that "AI that helpfully provides companionship, romance, and decision-making will also numb some essential element of our humanness."

Already, young people who spend much time streaming, surfing, or gaming on screen have sex less often and may diminish their chances of finding a mate and having children, as tech bros and religious conservatives lament. We spend too much time on screens and have too few face-to-face encounters with people, and many of us eat alone, resulting in the lowest levels of satisfaction and subjective well-being4. Several studies have shown that the isolation of older adults increases the risk of premature death5. However, solitude also increases resentment among young parents with children who have a difficult time separating.

To diminish divisiveness and foster better relationships between men and women, community psychologists in Italy are creating spaces in community houses where individuals can visit doctors and psychologists, as well as engage in activities such as dancing, laughing, and singing. This promotes mental health and fosters a sense of community, encouraging dialogue. In Genoa, one community house has promoted a chorus, and others are following6.

Thomas L. Friedman recently described the characteristics of our future composed of poly-economic networks, poly-crisis climate change, poly-dimensional geopolitics, and polymorphic communities, where the solution to most problems requires networks of trust, not bullying. “The imperatives to live together, work together, cooperate in ecosystems, and belong together—not turn on each other—have only intensified”7.

Overcoming our extreme individualism is crucial for addressing the unjust distribution of wealth and income, improving climate change, and diminishing polarization and violence. Equally important is to build the “we,” creating more face-to-face opportunities to promote hope, joy, and solidarity.

References

1 Pew Research Center (2018), Report November 20, Where Americans Find Meaning in Life.
2 Doorakkers, P. (2025), How Polarization Happens: “If you disagree with me, you are a bad person,” Observant 7, Holland, October 23.
3 The Economist (2025), The rise of singledom. Relationship Recession, November 9-14th, pages 9 and 15.
4 De Neve et al. (2024). Eating Alone, Oxford.
5 Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10, 227-237.
6 Francescato & Tomai (2025), Fostering Brighter Futures: How small groups of international community psychologists are healing our polarized societies. WM Books, Amazon Books.
7 Friedman, T.L., (2025), Welcome to the new era. What do we call it? November 14, New York Times.