I have been unemployed; I am currently employed. Sometimes I cannot tell which is worse. I mean, don’t get me wrong, unemployment is a very bad place to be. It messes with the mind and the body in a way that is quite sad: the depression, the feelings of inadequacy and constant questioning of timing. It is a place that I think most regular adults go through, one I wish were not a rite of passage. But life exists in the way that it does and we learn to adapt, to grow. To become a by-product of the systems that surround us.

It is all so exhausting, the process of getting a job, that is.

First is having a good CV, proving to strangers that I do in fact deserve a right to work based on the experience I've accumulated from working with other people. Sure, they say it is a measure of compatibility, how well I work with the company; however, it never feels like it. It feels like standing on a scale and begging a company to pick me. Choose me. To just give me a chance.

Doing this over and over until one decides to take a chance. The next step is a first interview; this can go sideways so fast. I prepare beforehand and prepare my talking points, reminding myself that they’re human too so I don't break into sweats as they badger me with question upon question in a tone that makes me question why I subjected myself to this in the first place. Sometimes it’s a blank screen on my screen with proper lighting and good sound; sometimes it’s background noise in my otherwise quiet interview space. All of it displays a dynamic within the first interaction: "You're not as important as I am."

It's not an Olympics of betterness; we’re all trying to be treated as human.

The next stage is either a rejection or, luckily, an advancement; this might include a test that involves light processes. Ideally this should be it, but most of the time the test is a tedious task that might take days, all of it in the hopes that a chance is offered. After this it’s either a rejection again or an advancement to an interview that involves a group of higher-ups firing rapid-fire questions. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but a group of people asking one otherwise nervous person questions can be unsettling, no?

So it becomes a personality thing; you have to make an impression. You "have to" seem like the right choice. Shine brighter than everyone else to stand a chance. What a shame this is for an introvert who can handle high-stakes situations on the job but gets nervous at social interactions in unfamiliar settings. Because my only chance just went out the window when I have to catch a question in seconds and have a "smart-sounding" response available in seconds.

The next stage is either rejection or an advancement to the final point. At all points in this I can be ghosted, which happens more than not. I have learned to be grateful for consistent communication. On some days a one-minute email of rejection is a thing of gratitude because they considered me worthy to at least get a no instead of the usual disappearance.

Being a volunteer or an intern does not teach employment possibilities. It is still just learning how to do the job on the off chance that someone considers me enough to think I can do the job. I can’t be a complete naysayer; I have gotten a nice rejection or two and been grateful to a recruiter for making the process easy for me but it really is so hard to find a place in society when it comes to employment. No one wants a beginner. Two years of experience is apparently not enough.

There is an alternate possibility and it would be remiss of me not to mention the off chance that I do in fact get the job.

This is where the work begins. Someone was sharing helpful tips for workplace situations and he was mentioning workplace politics as a skill that needed to be mastered. As skill is not enough, he said I need to master getting people on my side and have a few people that would support me in the ears of the bigger people. It didn't matter if I liked these people or that they treated me well. It just has to matter that I have a clique and navigate it cautiously. In today’s workplace, this is solid advice, as you almost "have to earn" your space in the work environment.

I’m currently lucky, incredibly, to currently have two employers and a client in a side gig that actually treats me like a human being but most employers treat employees terribly. I resigned from a job this year because of this. I was given an inconsiderate timeline for a task and I mentioned I couldn't get it done and the response was disrespectful to say the least.

I was being condescended to at a job that wasn’t worth my time. The pay wasn’t great but beggars can’t be choosers. I completed the task and turned in my resignation letter. I couldn't continue to live like that; I was riding anxiety like a horse; every beep made my heart cave in on itself. Any tags made my heart race.

After this I got a "dream job"; for clarity, if I hadn't gotten fired, I would not have quit because the pay was great. I actually danced the moment I saw the pay. This job didn't outwardly treat me terribly; it was subtle. A simple comment questioning my capability, messages tagging me on a company-wide chat group asking if all I ever did was make mistakes.

On many days, I broke down crying while also accepting criticism that cut like glass and improving upon it as it came. I would get a message at night while eating dinner and lose my appetite; the workload was insane and I was struggling to cover it in fourteen-hour days and weekends. All this and I still got fired for "not being efficient enough" after a month and seventeen days of employment. No three month notice. Just poof, gone. My income, my hope of stability.

Then came the unemployment depression. The evident lack of hope that comes with being let go after weeks of reminders that I was not good enough.

The "you're replaceable" theory is one I know very well. I had an employer tell me that I didn't need to make a fuss, as AI could do what I do easily as well. As if AI would not need input, assistance, or at least a moment to generate an answer. So I and everyone else have to bend over backwards and deliver because not falling into line means someone else could fill that space. Just as easily with no warning.

Workplace depression and anxiety have become rampant, with TikTok videos of people going outside to cry after a manager has yelled at them yet again. I have a friend whose boss yells in a meeting constantly; HR cried in a meeting with the boss because of yelling. How insane is it that this is the new normal for people everywhere in the world?

According to Yomly, "Around 1 in 6 employees (14.7%) experience mental health problems in the workplace, showing that emotional health issues have become a normal part of working life."

Employers need to learn to make space; creativity will never flourish in suffering. Most of these jobs will never compare to working in an ER or a profession where urgent attention would mean life or death. The constant urgency, the state of anxiety and the dehumanization of innocent people just looking to put a roof over their heads is sad. Not even extreme niceness; the plea is for decency, for humanity to win.

For employees to be treated the way a normal human being would be treated. The rise of capitalism has led to turnover being the main goal, but it would be wise for employers to once again remember that the talent that works tirelessly to increase shareholder value exists as a human and has a life.

Statistics show that happy employees are more productive, and this is not a myth. I have a boss that I hope everything goes well for. I look for new ideas and pour my time into them, hoping the algorithm finally works in our favour because of the way I am treated; my mistakes get called out and any other issues get resolved but at the end of the day, I am treated like a human being and I am grateful for the decency.

Let human decency win again; employees are more than just KPIs.