Skull Crimson

I think in screams. I sing in screams.
My skull a crimson zone,

On alert, hurt in mess in dirt.
Muted: the pain the gain, a lame

Game I play with no end—
I was bor screams; casually disown my

Children. They make a village. It takes
A village, no— an entire planet to silence,

My skull
Crimson. I want to break it open like a

Watermelon. The juice splattered
Everywhere. I follow instincts in a

Cerebral
World. Nothing I do is logical. Words

Mini bombs, fireworks— I see stars, no
Scars in our stars: we are dust

Pretending—
Birthing screams in a soundproof

Room I call my skull crimson—
Wish you could hear, wish you

Could understand,
The downloads, the cryptic metaphors I

Fail to decipher for I closed my heart
In the name of being smart.

Logic is useless, I just
Follow the screams, explore

Where they come from; never.
I feel like a terrible mother— only accept

The melodic elegant screams, like a series of
Annoying miracles I crave to feel

Complete.

Cheese

You’ve occupied more space, lost time. Your appetite devoured days, months.
I've lost too. So much. A little bit of weight. A little bit of hope.
Something in me killed my appetite.
I watched my curves melt like cheese. I love cheese.
You don't.
You think they smell like feet. And I accept the odd parts,
The disgusted parts of you.
I freeze.
I wish I could move with more ease. I am looking
For my feelings of disgust too, to repel you, to convince the
Heart, to put that part of my heart on fire, to unleash
Wild dogs to eat that part of me
Alive—
We feast, while parts of our souls starved in
Michelin star threes— you thought you could buy
Everything, worshiped all that is gray-green with
Greed.
You swam in liquor and other disasters. Your stomach
Obliterated, churning in hidden
Bonfires.
Our bodies
Caught up, communicated
Before our minds could.
I also began swimming. In a pool of caffeine, of alcohol. Heart
Obliterated, churning with visceral
Bonfires.
Mistaking luxury for heavens— all this glitter has
“Colored your eyes”, as we say in Turkish,
Meaning
You were blinded by the façade, by the
Glitter before you could see
The world;
A greedy insatiable world—
Like I said,
You never liked cheese and I loved it.

On animal &

I saw cerulean cigarettes & pink leaves screaming in
Dew, drowning in our smoke— in recurring poetry dreams where
I fell asleep a million damn times over.

To escape the horror, through
The music of words, albeit unsettling, surreal.

Burdened under the weight
Of horrific clouds calling our name.

No wonder we seek refuge on Mars, on isolated spaceships, rockets
Deafening.

In this hellish heaven I
See white rabbits with red eyes, white eyes with red tails

And other experimental disasters
Man-made— can no longer

Celebrate any animal's beauty— our dark dark
Fingerprints all over— humans in monster's clothing;
Wolves in sheep’s skin—

Dream of an escape while the
World spins, dizzying

I can't trace how my actions led me
Here:

With a crowd of furry victims hiding
Their screams in their eyes icy, innocent: we

Have so much in common. I often freeze in the face of
Cruelty human.

Chameleon Birds

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will, which I now exert to leave you."

(Charlotte Brönte)

I am woman-shadow, burning at the edges,
Looking up: all this freedom with wings—
My bluebirds escaped my cagey ribs,
Tearing through bone to leave me hollow.
Imagination claws against my skull—I fail
To think beyond this
Box, this gray cage the bluebird, the orange, the red
Now inhabit. In a burning green goblin world we are
Outnumbered by the genius of the wild
Blue, orange, red that bleeds through dreams.
Don't know how the green goblin
Sliced through my visions. My mind—
I can already see it catching
Fire, I taste paint bleeding, smell the crimson
Iron pastel in my wet mouth.
I breathe in the smoke but my lungs accept it all like
Oxygen. Visions crave death like innocent souls crave birth.
The mind's eye makes additions, alterations
Without consent. Objectivity elusive as a
Free bird blending with the background
Like a chameleon that forgot its true colors.