We’ve all been there, spiraling like crazy over a relationship issue, unsure how to feel or act or what to do. You might vent to your friends, ask your family for advice, or even search Reddit for similar stories in the hope of finding clarity in a swarm of strangers’ opinions. Then there’s ChatGPT, your personal, judgment-free online therapist that gives surprisingly accurate responses. With just a few prompts, you get an entire breakdown of your situation and exactly what you should do next. Sometimes, the advice hits a little too well, and you sit there thinking, damn, this AI is just as good as speaking to a qualified therapist.

But as helpful as technology can be, it will never understand the depth of your emotion, the complexities of your situation, and the uniqueness of your relationship. Humans are intricate beings with depth that a computer cannot match. So, it’s unrealistic to trust the word of ChatGPT as gospel when it comes to the advice for your relationship. It’s still learning and pulling from numerous sources, none of which can truly match the layers of a human being’s emotional system.

The social media trap

It’s never been easier to fall the rabbit hole of Instagram Reels and TikTok videos dishing out unsolicited relationship advice with every scroll. ‘If he needs space, he doesn’t love you.’ ‘If he takes more than an hour to reply, he’s cheating.’ ‘If he’s acting distant, leave him.’ And just like that, you're sent on a downward spiral as the algorithm repeatedly serves these videos, one after the next. Algorithm? Really?

What’s important to note is that the people behind these ten-second videos do not know you, and you do not know them. They don’t know your partner or experience, and are not living your life. You could be consuming a video from someone who stayed with a cheating boyfriend and is now projecting that experience onto you. Meanwhile, your partner may just genuinely be going through a depressive episode or be emotionally drained. But because the girl from Insta with a ring light said to ‘dump him,’ you start second-guessing everything you know to be true.

The worst part of it all? We start making decisions based on advice that isn’t even slightly rooted in our reality.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some gems on social media, and some content can genuinely lead to moments of enlightenment. But do not rely on social media as the sole serving point for your personal life. Speak to the people you know and love, meditate, take a walk in the park, and speak to a therapist before turning to the wide web. Bring back slowness, intention, and depth rather than quick fixes.

ChatGPT experience

ChatGPT can be a saving grace sometimes, but do not overestimate its reliability when it comes to real-life scenarios. A YouTuber recently explained that she asked ChatGPT for advice on a situation with her boyfriend. She gave her version of events, and it practically drafted a breakup message for her. Had she followed that advice, she would have ended a meaningful relationship over a temporary conflict. When she met up with her partner and they spoke things through, the energy was completely different. They came to an understanding that AI could never have predicted, because it didn’t know their history, his side, and the profundity of their connection.

Often, what we feed AI is one-sided, emotional, and lacking context, and that’s not criticism; that’s the reality of venting in the moment. But no matter how smart a machine may be, it can’t account for the nuances of human emotion, real love, and growth.

Trusting your inner voice

It’s easy to feel like your life is doomed when you don’t turn to the people who truly know and care about you. Family and friends who have witnessed your journey will always give better guidance than an AI response or a 20-second TikTok from a stranger. Yes, technology is powerful, but never underestimate human intuition and real-world experience. Both you and your partner are intricate beings, with a layered relationship that can’t be summed up in a viral red flag checklist video.

Red flags vs. reality

Let’s be clear, red flags are real, and you should never ignore them when something feels off, but you also shouldn’t let the social media world dictate what a red flag looks like for you. Some of these TikTok and Instagram ‘relationship experts’ have the most chaotic dating past, yet they’re setting the standard for millions through their content.

Get to know yourself and what your own boundaries are. Define your own deal breakers. Expect to be treated like a queen or a king, and don’t settle. But equally recognize that life is not a fairy tale; your partner may not always reply quickly because they’re simply busy or feeling low. Not everything is a personal vendetta to you.

Real life over reels

Take a deep breath, zoom out, value the people around you, and listen to your gut. AI might be convenient, and TikTok might feel relatable, but neither knows the full picture. Life is about living, learning, and unlearning. Let technology be a tool, not a decision maker over your life, as nothing compares to the empathy, wisdom, and complexity of the human experience.