Life isn’t that hard, it’s easy: try softer, manifest better

Beating yourself too hard to find a partner in love won’t help you find one quicker. Thinking round the clock to understand why your friend circle doesn’t seem reasonable anymore won’t make them so. Trying too much to enjoy a meal will divert your focus from actually tasting the ingredients.

Remember, we humans have a tendency to make simple things challenging. Nothing was really meant to be a rigorous and deadly march from where you are to where you want to get to. Over hundreds of years (well, only a few decades of which I’ve lived), we’ve made this journey of life seem like an ordeal, a task, a tough mission to survive through time.

If not today, when wisdom strikes with potency once you're 50+ in age, you’ll finally see how a simple mindset shift could’ve made your life much easier. Such is the nature of humanity. Outliers always exist, but the masses are struggling with basic everyday tasks.

Take control of yourself by being honest

While I’ve seen people yelling out of their vehicles at traffic signals or arguing with street hawkers and also revealing their sharp, abusive sides in little altercations at home or with friends, there’s something else we can attend to first that may put these behavioral issues in the coffin for good.

It’s your ability to be honest. To speak honestly.
How you feel in general; being honest to yourself is enough.
How you feel about a meal; don’t say you like it just for the cook to be happy.
How you feel about yourself; what you hide today will surface as traumas tomorrow.
How you feel about your job; your energy is yours, and you must deploy it consciously.
How you feel about a friend; frankness underscores a healthy friendship, not masking.
How you feel about someone’s opinions; any conversation is a two-way street, and you must do justice to this law.

Personally, this one foundational change in inward and outward communication styles has made the experience of what we call “survival” easier. Grounding and calm have become two omnipresent elements in my everyday. It’s this honesty that rubs away the clutter and floods in balanced attitudes regardless of the situation and personality you face.

What’s interesting is that we either try too hard to be honest or gaslight ourselves into believing that we’re honest. Both these natures are counterproductive. In fact, over-efforting often clouds the simplicity and ease with which life can be traveled.

Tip: Use honesty as a form of self-regulation. Being real with yourself and others strips away unnecessary conflict and emotional suppression. Your daily life will seem so much lighter and more bearable!

Rewire how you describe tough

Before moving on, I’d like to clarify that there’s a difference between hard (challenging) and long (in terms of time).

Long ≠ Hard. Many life journeys take time, not suffering. Confusing duration with difficulty makes you feel more burdened than you should.

Just because starting a wellness company chain across multiple countries takes 5 years doesn’t mean it’s hard. It’s just a long process. Long processes aren’t hard; they’re just long.

Similarly, building a bond with someone you love may take a few years. The time investment may be necessary for you to take your relationship to the stage you want to. It’s not an arduous task. If you think it’s hard, then a little intellectual rewiring can help.

Think about this. Is being present really hard? Is an optimistic chain of thought rare for you? Is being nice to yourself something you don’t do often? Is genuine self-care a part of your daily routine? What about emotions? Do you acknowledge and deal with them or tuck them under your safety blanket?

If you find your reasoning towards “it’s hard,” I’d recommend you not try too much.

We’re in a cyclic habit of trying too hard. Trying to stick to schedules. Trying to balance personal, social, and corporate. Trying to do better in life. Trying and trying all the time will exhaust you today and surely burn you out tomorrow. Secret? Don’t try too hard. It’s all easy.

In case I steered away too much, here’s my point. Putting in too much effort conceals the easier means of getting something done. You move far too distant from the center. Just be present. Show up. Don’t stress. Don’t sweat your brain and heart. It’s all easy.

Presence > Pressure. Always.

What you say will happen = manifestation

You may think manifestation always carves a road of good things. That’s right, but it’s subjective. While manifesting mindfully and consciously usually entails converting your hopes and wishes to reality, manifesting without knowing can also do damage.

Your internal dialogue, even though unconscious, acts like a broadcast to the universe. When it’s loaded with panic and self-criticism, it invites more of the same chaos.

Here’s a simple scenario.

You’re stuck in a traffic jam and are already late for a family member’s surprise birthday party. You feel stuck and unable to do any better. Walking isn’t an option since you're 20 km away. There aren’t any subways or 2-wheeler taxi services around.

Without even knowing, you start saying statements like, “I’m so stupid. Now my family will feel bad. I don’t have any sense of time.”

Or you say, “This traffic is not moving at all. This stillness is horrible. I can’t deal with the honking and non-stop calls from my family.”

Or maybe you say, “I’m going to reach out when the surprise is over. The driver doesn’t care and is taking it easy. All I see are red lights on signals and the backsides of cars.”

You’ve literally just manifested all those situations! Whether or not you said it aloud or simply spoke to yourself internally, the universe heard you. Now, the universe will do what it does best. It’ll respond by trying to fulfill what you just said. That’s what manifesting without knowing (and knowing) does. You may not know that you invited trouble, but you still did.

Your family will now surely feel bad about you being late. Your sense of time will be more cluttered. The traffic may move even slower. The stillness may feel like hell. The honking and your ringtone start sounding like alarm bells of misery. You’ll almost certainly reach out when the surprise is over. And the red lights around you? They’ll come more in the center of your attention and even intensify because you focused on them!

There was an option to say, “It’s okay. My family will understand. At least the traffic is moving a bit. At least people are honking, and this is helping us create space together to move forward.” You choose to focus on the negatives, and the negatives will begin to manifest even more.

We can link this type of manifestation with not trying too hard. You could relax and focus on the positives of the situation, which is generally easier, healthier, gentler, calmer, steadier, stronger, and lighter.