The weight of not realizing something is immense!!

Just like that, I have become an entity that is feared by everyone surrounding me.

How did I become this powerful? Nothing miraculous or vile like that; it was only a gun and the guts to make people fear.

Somehow, I loved fear. I loved it so much that I made it my livelihood, I made it my oxygen, and I made it my companion. Why?

Because that is how I was raised. I was raised under the barren land of no water; food was scarce, and robbery was the profession to feed the hungry mouth of responsibility. I was a dad at a very early age. I loved her with all my heart, and she was a strong woman who took everything that I was.

My wife, the most beautiful human being to lay eyes upon, was killed by my own hand. I had no other option, and my kids were thrown out onto the street to beg in front of their daddy. And Daddy? I bore each and everything while keeping in touch with the faces that caused so much pain, so much animosity.

As years passed by, the potential that I had as a human being was enhanced as more and more deadly decisions were being made. Murder was created, and guns were transported in the name of protection. Drugs were smuggled into the houses of the rich, and eyes were kept everywhere to keep me sane. In short, I was the messiah of my society.

Until the law fucked me over, charges of gang rape and so many things that I won't deny not doing were being filed and bled in front of me. I was being sold as the evil, and I loved it.

Some days ago I tried my final plea, but in that also I failed to write appropriately. The words don't really come as smoothly as my actions do.

And the whole of the country is waiting for the decision of justice to make an example out of me of what being free feels like and of what being a man feels like.

Objection, my lord.

Don’t you see how my client was put into his psychological distress to get revenge for his family? His wife was killed by his own hand, and his children were thrown into the street to make a man question his existence. His home burned, and everything was robbed. Think about this, my lord: if your wife were killed and your children were thrown, what would you have done?

I would have killed those men along with myself, but regardless, we cannot look past all he has done to cope with himself, although this is a court that has given every man a chance to plead his guilt and answer everything to make himself a free man. This court has not stopped with anything with anybody, and he will be given the due chance that he deserves.

Does the defendant have anything to say?

I stood up from my seat and watched the whole panel of eyes and faces waiting for some words that could help them decide to fuck me or give me a death sentence.

At the back of the courtroom, the seats were filled by law graduates and media persons, each having their own ulterior motive in mind to listen to what I had to say.

But what I have to say is nothing more than the truth and a pain, and some experience that I carry.

If you have nothing to say, you may sit down. The judge said.

Now hold on, Mr. Almighty. Always have patience, you know that, right? That patience makes a man powerful.

Don't teach me, boy, what I have to do. I can break your patience without you noticing. You are inside the house of justice; your sins and your life will all be questioned without anything left behind. So, hurry up; we do not have much time to waste around listening to your victim story. I know your kind. The vilest of the vile.

You and your justice, all you are good at is reading lines of sentences that make you superior in one way or the other. We criminals are the ones who make your lives joyful; otherwise, you are only good for playing the good boy, because the evilness was never there. We give you meaning; we give your empty chair something to cheer for.

So you are saying that you have done something evil that should be punished. you are guilty of committing those crimes?

I am the evil one, no doubt about that. And punishment, I already had enough punishment to make my ends meet. And anything more you will see the remains of a sane man who has nothing to lose.

What do you mean by that??

I completely agree when you said that I should have killed those men along with me. I just couldn't comprehend that I could kill those men. I was weak and pathetically holding on, and I did go to kill those with a pocket knife, but I was cut short, and so I waited and waited and gave everything I had to destroy everything that came in front of me. And here I am with my last act. Are you ready?

What are you talking about?

Do not need to worry; when you die along with me, every question will be answered, even if you do not have any questions. Even that too will be answered.

Guards!

See you in hell. Motherfucker.

This was all because I couldn't see through your death, and maybe this is because my child was thrown away, maybe it was my world that had no light, whatever it was, to destroy the world was the dream, but I came up too short, too short.