It is said that similarities are more important in any kind of relationship. Some argue that differences are more important, as they add the flavor of learning how to adjust and become the best version of oneself.

In the world, to narrow down the idea of personality and sociability, people are classified into two categories—introverts and extroverts.

Simply put, introverts are quiet people, prefer being at home, and avoid talking to others, but they are not necessarily shy. Introverts enjoy less exciting activities and are said to analyze before speaking, be observant, like their own company more, and tend to reflect on their feelings, emotions, and thoughts. They typically have small groups of friends. This does not mean that they are not open to new experiences; they take their time to open up and become more sociable.

Extroverts are considered the opposite of introverts. They don’t shy away from people and enjoy talking and socializing with others. For them, the need to have company or people to talk to becomes as important as doing anything else. They have larger circles of friends and express themselves verbally more. Extroverts tend to prefer talking over writing.

One thing to remember is that introversion or extroversion is not an all-or-nothing situation. It is a continuum, a spectrum. Some people might be at the extremes, others less so, and some could be right in the middle.

It has also been discussed how introverts tend to be adopted by extroverts. Friendships between introverts and extroverts are commonly seen, but does this combination work?

Clashes between individuals are very common because of differences in ideas, beliefs, thoughts, approaches, and styles. Any extrovert or introvert who has ever fought with the other person would say that they just don’t understand the other’s style or approach to a situation. However, many have realized that there is a great opportunity when working with opposites.

One of the easiest ways to work through this is for both individuals to accept their differences and stop forcing their ideas on one another. Working toward intended results can bring out the genius that comes from collaborating with opposite personalities. Many successful people in history can show a positive example of how opposites can work together once they embrace their differences. These partnerships, especially when sustained for a long time, don’t happen overnight. They have undergone multiple trials to fit together like a puzzle. These relationships require time and nurturing.

This has been explained in detail with multiple research studies supporting it. One author brought up a formula that is well-received because of its simplicity. It is from a well-known author and speaker, Jennifer Kahnweiler, in her book The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together. The observations above, along with known research, discuss how to tackle the situation between introverts and extroverts, which is wonderfully explained in her book.

She presents five key steps in which this can work marvelously, named the ABCDE approach. She explains how, one by one, we can solve problems better. Starting with:

  • A: Accept the alien — accept the fact that the person is different from you.

  • B: Bring on the battles — come up with better outcomes and solutions together.

  • C: Cast the character — cast the person in the appropriate role. Some of us are better at certain tasks, and others excel at something else. When we assign duties, we ensure that we bring the best solution for the particular scenario. Credit is always shared, no matter what the role.

  • D: Destroy the dislike — when you learn to respect others, an open conversation can take place, reducing dislike.

  • E: Each can’t offer everything — there’s no way one person can offer everything. Diversity and different people are needed to occupy a space to work in harmony and achieve the best results.

In all of these steps, one important lesson is to educate ourselves on the fact that both introverts and extroverts have different approaches to work and social thought processes. Both have specific needs for different environments to work well together. Necessary space and privacy are needed for both to become comfortable in this arrangement. Introverts need to learn how to be more comfortable participating in group work and asking for privacy when needed. Extroverts, on the other hand, need to learn how to listen and encourage introverts to speak up when necessary.

Opposites do attract and often work well together. Like every other aspect of a relationship, they must both put in the effort to ensure they work well together. It takes time for them to become a well-oiled machine that brings excellent results. When they stop focusing on their differences and instead embrace them, they improve their relationship. These relationships also lend themselves to complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

References

Kahnweiler, B. J. (2015). The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together.
Jung, C. G. (1910). The association method. The American Journal of Psychology, 21(2), 219-269.