How to embrace our uniqueness by fostering unknown

Uniqueness does not have to be earned. You don't have to race for it. You don't have to feel pressure to make your life special. Uniqueness never leaves us. Fear is just one of its blocks. We put fear on ourselves because we are afraid of being noticed.

Fear of the unknown

We are God's designs. Anxiety or pressure are only overlays that cover uniqueness because, in order to stand up to your unique self, you still have to shed them. And it is in this uniqueness and authenticity that we can create and attract abundance. Not otherwise. The pressure to be perfect and the fear of failure or error take us away from what we came here to do—to learn lessons. The purpose of the human soul is to evolve it; this would not happen without mistakes or failures. It is simply impossible.

So by creating fear and pressure to create a perfect life for ourselves, we create an illusion that takes us even further away from happiness. The fear of multicolored life is the voice of the ego, which always chooses the familiar. This happens precisely in the left hemisphere, which is responsible for strategic thinking, weaving logical connections, interpretations, and plans with a focus on specific outcomes. From here, there is no room for the element of surprise, for an intuitive approach and allowing oneself to enjoy life with pleasure, lightness, and in the so-called ‘flow.’

The pressure to ‘device’ our life in a perfect way leads people to ill-considered loans, unwanted weddings and hasty decisions that often do not go hand in hand with a real readiness for these steps. The same is true of anxiety - being ‘your own way’ in a self-designed everyday life can often go wrong (because, for example, it may not be right not to have children or to travel alone). The anxiety-pressure-perfectionism triangle is the fear of oneself and one's own uniqueness. Removing the fear of mistakes and the pressure of perfectionism makes us ready to embrace our uniqueness and the abundance that goes with it

Self-love as a key to abundance

It is worthwhile to love oneself like a little child to whom we forgive every mischief. When we surround ourselves with nothing but care and understanding. Without the pressure and fear of ‘becoming’, but in savouring what is already there. Our uniqueness is in us all the time, tuning into it is just like connecting to the right wifi source. You can't catch that connection in fear or guilt, but you can feel it in detachment from yourself as a human being.

Healing will never grow on the soil of blame.

(Natalia De Barbaro cyt. Adyashanti)

At the same time, you cannot really love yourself, but tune into the understanding that you are love. This is the only way we can saturate ourselves with what we have. And in the same way, when we attune ourselves to this love, we automatically come out of any programmes accusing ourselves or others. Out of programmes that directed expectations of others or ourselves, which compounded the pressure to make superhuman efforts in life. You don't have to do more or harder at all, nor do you have to deserve it. Getting out of accusatory programmes, guilt, perfectionism makes life light and ready to receive life's abundance.

Living under the pressure of being perfect based on fear comes out of a source of lack. This is where the need to fill the gap by serving the world is found. From the position of servant, however, we don't feel happy because we are constantly chasing our own fulfilment, while being neither in the moment nor in our dream life. Shame and guilt can also attach to this anxiety if we project our unfulfilled expectations of others onto ourselves as well. Thus, by expecting a great deal of ourselves, we create in our minds our own image as infallible, whose job it is to fill the sense of lack.

We fall into the illusion that we can only tune into this self-love at times when we satisfy ourselves. And what happens when we make a mistake? A ‘judge’ may then sound off in your head, driving a pin of guilt, anxiety, and shame for having disconnected yourself from your idealised image. These feelings parasitically conscript a person into the bondage of perfectionism. In this bondage, you may struggle to live up to yourself. The road to perfectionism also leads through the fear of disappointing oneself. We tend to be afraid of letting ourselves down when others have let us down in the past. We associate this with a deep wound.

What we can do for ourselves is to shed our expectations of others, including those that are overdue and related to childhood. It won't come back, but you can put your inner strength in place. You don't have to project your shortcomings onto requirements. You are not made up of holes that need to be filled with evidence of your uniqueness. Nor do you need to hide from the world when you let yourself down. You are aligned and grounded in what defines your whole being. And it is in this multifariousness of the human being that all its causal power is hidden, touching the edges as well as the absolute itself. Man moves through the different poles like an acrobat, and this is what makes him unique.

Living with new principles

Surrounding oneself with tenderness and care sometimes comes first in a moment of crisis. Allowing ourselves to be inert, powerless, and unproductive, allowing feelings and emotions to flow freely, and waiting until we feel better. Funding yourself with herbal tea, rest, sleep, baths, relieving yourself of extra responsibilities, deadlines, and things to do. Sometimes your soul waits years to be heard. The soul sometimes demands your attention, generating illness or mental disintegration. These are the moments when you simply let go, ‘logging out’ of life for a while. For the soul, it is a moment of rebirth, a contact expected for years with your conscious part. These moments of re-establishment, known in psychology as ‘triggers,’ i.e., stimuli that inform us of what is unreleased in us and unworked, are what really bring us home. Sometimes the only way to mobilise you to creatively dismantle the previous version of your life is with a solid ‘demolition.’

There are times when only a storm can awaken us to completely forgotten instincts, ideas, and longings. Such storms blow all the ‘fuses’ in us, throwing us into the open sea of a new matrix of life. It is in this matrix that you must learn to navigate not only anew but on new terms. And it is this need to ‘log’ yourself into the new that obliges you to let go of the old and recognise the new. It is in the news that you have the tools you need; it just requires careful ‘retooling.’ Building from scratch does not have to be a nightmare or a punishment; it can also be a privilege that enables you to build on your terms. Sometimes it is only in the long run that what you can do for yourself is revealed, so trust the new. Trust the process of transformation.

To embrace your own uniqueness is to honour the humanity within you. It gives the necessary slack to ‘go on your way.’ From this level only can we create a harmonious life.