It is so easy to end relationships, the demeanors of the times have bred a society of self-absorption. Media has bombarded us with false entitlement resulting in being indifferent to others. Many are forming false bonds with the screen and are not working on their intimate interactions.
Technology ruminates the easy solution to find love by surfing for romantic relationships online. Like by swiping right you can form one and with a text message or Emoji you can break the bond. Not to mention the less clothes you wear on social media the more likes you have. This contributes to a false self-image. So many unnecessary incongruities occur due to the individual feeling more entitled than they actually are. Another contribution to the dissipation of relationships could be people’s upbringing; Parents have pumped children with praise and given them a false belief that they are outstanding. So, as their children are seen as too superior to work, Parents take on their responsibilities. Then, when it comes to making a commitment later on in life, they cannot do the struggle needed for a commitment. To give you an example of this I would like to tell you a story.
A man comes into the kitchen and says to his wife “I want a divorce. I am in love with someone else.” His wife looks up at him dumbfounded and says: “After all the years we have invested into our marriage and the memories we have cherished, you now want a divorce?” “And have you thought about our daughter’s life if we separate?”
He says that he has been miserable for a long time and has nothing left to give. He then places the divorce papers in front of her and says: “You can have anything you want. Just sign”.
When she gets over the shock, she then realizes it’s over. Dspite feeling diheartened, she agrees to sign the divorce papers under two conditions. And it has nothing to do with money. His curiosity is aroused. The first condition is that she doesn’t want their daughter to know about the divorce because she is having some difficulties at school. The second condition is that she wants him to carry her into the bedroom for a week every night before bedtime. He considers the conditions reasonable and agrees to abide by them.
On the first night he feels awkward. When he picks her up and holds her, she lays her head on his chest and whispers to him reminders of their first date. She retells the story of when they were entering a restaurant. She recalls when she tripped, broke her heel, sprained her ankle and when he had to carry her then too. He then tells her:“ That night I carried a gorgeous woman into the restaurant.”
On the second night, he is watching TV and feels a bit irritated when she interrupts him to ask to be carried into the bedroom. She reminds him of the promise. He cheekily looks over to her and goes to pick her up. Again, she rests her head on his chest. He smiles at her and is shocked at how fragile she has become. But he feels the connection returning.
While in his arms, this time it is he who retells a memory from their honeymoon and how he carried her into the bridal suite. She smiles and they both become tearful as they reminisce. He looks into her eyes and kisses her gently on the forehead. He puts her on the bed and tucks her in.
By the fourth night, he can’t wait to pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. This time, while carrying his wife, their daughter sees them and claps her hands with joy and excitement that daddy is carrying mummy again. His wife turns to him and says: “Do you remember when my waters broke in this exact spot and you came running towards me?. You reassured me when I felt scared and rushed me to the hospital, where our beautiful daughter was born”.
He can’t resist kissing her passionately while she is still in his arms. He carries her into the bedroom. While tucking her in, she asks of him: “Do you promise that when we go our separate ways you will look after our daughter? She needs you”. His eyes fill up and says he will.
The next day he wakes up early and goes to his mistress. He tells her that he has changed his mind and that he wants to stay with his wife. She is confused and becomes angry. She throws him out of the house and tells him not to contact her again.
Excitedly, he rushes to the florist and buys flowers for his wife. He returns home and finds his wife still in bed. He bends down to kiss her while placing the flowers on the bed. He then kisses her on the forehead. “Wake up darling” he says. “I want to tell you something”. She doesn’t move. He sees a letter on the bed which reads:
My darling husband,
I have been hiding something from you but now is the time to tell you. I have been fighting cancer for two years, but I didn’t want to burden you with it. Thank you for being my husband and being Maria’s daddy. Please care for her as you said you would. I will always cherish our last days together. You have been the love of my life. Till we meet again my love.
With this, he falls onto the floor crying inconsolably.
Many expect their relationships to magically become a safe haven of trust, commitment, romance and passion. Yet, are we ready to invest time and work into them before it’s too late? A stable relationship needs love to be shown by good communication, through acts of kindness, spending time together, learning more about each other and by sharing dreams and intimacy. In place of showing irritability, having knee-jerk reactions or making rash decisions, we could empower each other with love, respect and honesty. And by sometimes reflecting on how and why we fell in love in the first place can often remind us of what we truly value in each other.
We must adopt better use of our time and invest compassionately into our loved ones. This could start by diverting our time away from social media to getting into the real world. Sometimes life can leave us vulnerable and feeling awkward because we do not have a screen to hide behind, that is our chance to reach out to others and adopt a new understanding. However, this starts with our children, the more we educate our younger generation to take on more responsibilities and care for themselves and be kind to others the more valuable they will be to society. Relationships are not easy but it is in the struggle of the day-to-day tedious interactions that magic could be spread to form a meaning fulfilled life.