I'm a big believer in the importance of self-care, although I didn't always think so.

When I was in therapy, I often felt guilty for taking time away from work and my family because I felt like it wasn't good enough to ‘get over it’ and move on.

But then I learned that sometimes, taking care of yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed is important.

Here are seven things I've learned about therapy that is going to help you love yourself more, and feel less alone:

There is beauty in the mess

I have to admit, when I first walked into my therapist's office, I was not looking forward to sitting down and talking about emotions I'd been trying to bury for a long time.

After a few sessions, it became clear that therapy wouldn't be a sole solution for me. It was going to take a lot of different approaches, and at times it would feel like an obstacle course, but there was always beauty in it.

Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the idea that your therapist can solve all your problems and make you feel better immediately.

It can be hard to see how therapy might help you when you've struggled with issues for so long. It's important to remember that you're not alone.

Your therapist won't be able to fix everything by themselves. They will need your input and support, as well as theirs for this process to work best for everyone involved.

It's ok to embrace your emotions

It’s important to be allowed to feel whatever emotion is coming up for you at any given moment. Sometimes you need more than one session to work through an issue; at times, you need to be alone with your thoughts.

And sometimes, you don't want to talk about the problem at all. But knowing that you can sit there and be heard without judgement is incredibly helpful. For me, it helps with getting through the day better.

We all have our way of coping with pain and trauma, which can be different from others, and that's ok.

You are not alone

This is the most important thing I've learned. Therapy is a lot like going to the gym: you go in, do your thing, and when you leave, your body feels better.

But in therapy, you're working out your brain, which can be challenging. It's important to remind yourself that it's ok to feel weird about what you're doing. It's ok to feel awkward and uncomfortable, and even embarrassed sometimes.

You're not the only person who has ever felt this way before; lots of other people have gone through similar things and felt confused, scared, angry, sad, or lonely, just like you are now.

And yet here we are, all these people who have gone through the same kinds of experiences as you, and we're still here. That means you can get through this too.

You're not broken, you're just human

Sometimes we get so caught up in our minds that we forget everyone else is just as messed up as we are. And that's ok.

It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, or you need to fix something or change who you are. It just means that sometimes it could be helpful to talk to someone else about what's happening in your life.

Therapy is not a waste of time or money

Therapy is an investment in your future. If you think about it as an investment. You will see how much time and money therapy saves you in the long run.

By helping prevent future problems from arising down the road, those problems could be much worse than what's currently happening.

Don't let yourself get caught up in thinking it's a waste of time or money, because it is not.

It's normal for things to get worse before they get better

This sounds counterintuitive, but it's true: our problems often seem bigger when we start taking steps toward self-improvement.

Our minds can play tricks when we start working on ourselves like this; they'll present evidence that our problems are worsening because we're trying to fix them.

But don't worry; it is normal and expected as part of the process. You're just learning more about yourself as time goes on.


Therapy is not always comfortable, and can dig deep into our innermost thoughts, but crossing the bridge from therapy to healing is worth it.

Therapy requires us to be honest with ourselves about our lives, feelings, and our habits. But with time and hard work, you will get better, and your life will improve.

Remember that you are worth the time and effort. You are enough, you have value, and you have power. You can do this.