Each time I watch a romantic movie, I sit there amazed, stunned and lost in contemplation. I sit there thinking of every story I went through, every crush I ever had, I meditate through all my unfinished businesses and think that, that could’ve been a great story, I could’ve made it the best ever told. Yet something more powerful grabs me back to reality and remind me of all the reasons why each one could never work. Still, I find myself somehow not the slightly convinced. Wondering what happened all the way from the beginning? What went so wrong and made all of those initial visions go away? They somehow vanish between the layers of the truth. Thus, I lay down on the couch, look around me and realize that life happens, operates in mysterious ways. Trying to understand the rules of the universe is an aim never to achieve, living my life trying to figure out things, always looking for answers and explanations, never fully enjoying the moment. Yet again, I lose the best part of it all.
And even if, I sometimes stumble upon a happy incident and look ahead of me and think that because of that tiny fling, all miseries of the world are going to clear out, that somehow all problems are going to solve themselves out. Yet as always, not for long after, I would be moping on how stupid and silly I am and how foolish I could be to believe that a tiny one-time incident could make all the difference in the world. I don’t take long to realize though, that it doesn’t, it just somehow form the whole of my life. One by one carefully put down together the pieces of those tiny incidents magnetically pulled together in a stunning mosaic that highlights the core of my existence.
Sitting there, going through the scenarios of my past, I gather those pieces and I stare; at the final picture that defines all the good in life. That makes all the bad times endurable, all the tears, the sweat, the hurt and the pain worth living. Only because somewhere down the road, one of those moments will come by and lighten up my whole path. Brightening our darkest fears, filling our loneliest times with love and hope. Giving me a reason, not only to survive, lest to live, let alone, to actually appreciate the bad that gives meaning to all the good I ever encountered.
As cheesy as it seems, romance fills a great part of our lives, it represents our grief, our dreams, our hopes and wishes. It may manifest in every moment we go by, loving who we are and adoring our most precious company. Romance is the reason why we handle the tiresome agony of waiting. It is our most faithful companion when we’re feeling lonely or abandoned, as it is our greatest triumph, in times of excitement and absolute joy. Most of us live their lives wondering around thinking about all the ‘what ifs’ they could ever encounter. I might be one them by guilt, thinking that love is just a waste of time, a delusion made to keep us going and to keep us from living our lives to the fullest, always waiting for something better to come. Maybe there is nothing out there better then what you have right now at this moment.
Maybe life is all there is, all what you have here and now, maybe that’s all what we get out of destiny. Nothing less, nothing more. Only that, waiting, grieving and longing for magic, is only mere plague, poising your chances of happiness every step of the way. Sucking your belief, your hopes and dreams lessening them every single second. Everything around you turn unsatisfactory, meaningless… void. While you sit there and long. Long for tomorrow that never comes, long for a day, for a person, for a moment, which hopefully will turn your head around, swap you off your feet and make sense out of your life. Well guess what! Sitting on a bench, a couch, a car seat or a crown, waiting guarantees you that none of that is going to happen. It’s always been said: that in order for our dreams to come true one have to stand up on one’s feet and chase them. Well love isn’t much different, you probably don’t need to be running around chasing the moment. But you definitely are on the urge to open up your sight, to look around you, and by that I mean literally look , observe and notice. That the change you’re looking for is right there besides you, waiting, for you to look out and seek it.
Love is everywhere around us, moments are all around. You have a moment with that new friend you just met. That old fling you encountered. That dear college body you lost touch with, that best guy-friend whose always been there for you every step of the way, showing how much he cares and trying to teach you the real essence of it all, trying to make you see , the visible that you refuse to realize, the truth right besides you, poking you in the eyes. Appreciate what you have before long you lose it. Notice that nice neighbor of yours. That girl that always stares at you from across the room but never utters a word, that random person you cross road with every single day yet never get the reason nor the urge to get to know one and other.
Possibilities are everywhere around us. What if everything, anything, one thing at a time could happens differently? What other alternatives would we have, how many options would we get. How many times would the chance of happiness walk right besides us, gaze at us into the eyes and stay still for a moment there, waiting for us to speak, to act , to react. We think of ourselves as the victims of life; of change, of time. But maybe that obliterated chance, the one which life, destiny, is that who’s always been victimized, sentenced to an eternity of dooming patience. Waiting for us to be awakened, hoping that one day some of us, even one of us, could slow down, open his tiny mind, dig deep in that dusty heart of his and dive deep for a beat of life somewhere beaming down the darkness of negligence. And maybe, just maybe, then, we would realize how much we’d missed of those unseized chances. Those lost ‘what ifs’ may turn to what would a life be like, if that chance weren’t seized.
I for once have stumbled through great people, a great deal of experiences and moments that made me realize how much would’ve missed if I shut myself up, out or in. Any kind of bubble wouldn’t be better than putting myself out there, taking the risk and taking chances. An opportunity made for me, to trust my heart and let it be free, unchain it from all those nonsensical fears that are hunting me down, sentencing me to be trapped in a lifeless expression, lying on this dull and void couch... now I, with the blind unfolded I saw to share the couch, to take a chance and trust my heart to love, to open up again, to try having faith in someone who might very much betray me, hurt me or leave me broken , but I might as well share a moment to live for. And that, is the thing about people, you got to open up, let them in and hope, that they won’t let you down. Who knows, they might surprise you and prove themselves worthy, if not, you might at least learn a thing or two.
The point is, it never hurt to try, and even if it doesn’t, well, that is the beauty of adventure. To get to the mountain you have to cross the wood. That, is why the top is so desirable. Yet if it was easy, everyone would do it, unless you want to fall into the norm and serve the mimicry of every mistake ever made, you better sell the couch, buy a dining table! Have some friends over, create a family, live a little. If that didn’t work out! Well you can always get a new couch. Who knows maybe for two, the more the merrier.