Fashion has always been a central part of my life. Not just a hobby, not just a job, but something that lives in me. For the past 15 years, I’ve been working as a fashion designer. I live and breathe silhouettes, fabrics, colors, shapes, workmanship, and details. But little by little, I find myself asking a difficult question:

Is fashion, this thing I love so deeply, also making women feel worse about themselves?

Are we designing for real bodies, or are we just dressing up unattainable fantasies?

Real women, unrealistic expectations

Let’s be honest: most of the women don’t look like the ones in the ads. For me personally, my body changed immensely after I became a mother, not only because of the obvious changes, but also due to having less free time, which led to wrong nutritional decisions.

The women we see in fashion campaigns, online shops, and even social media ads are often tall, very slim, airbrushed, and styled in a way that doesn’t reflect everyday life. And while that may be aspirational for some, for most of us it’s alienating.

What happens when you’re a woman who just gave birth and your body has changed?

What happens when you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s, and you walk into a store or scroll through Instagram and realize that none of the trendy clothes were made with you in mind?

What happens is this:

You shrink. Not in size but in spirit.

That shirt at the mall (and the postpartum belly)

Even I, as someone who knows how the industry works, who doesn’t easily fall into trends or marketing traps, even I get caught sometimes.

I’ll walk past a shop window and fall in love with a beautiful shirt. The color is perfect. The cut is just right. I start imagining it in my closet.

But then I think of my belly.

The same belly that has carried 5 children. The belly that, years after giving birth, still refuses to "flatten out."

And just like that, the magic disappears.

I put the shirt back on the rack.

And I don’t walk away from the shirt, I walk away from myself.

It’s a tiny moment, but it stings. And it happens more often than we admit.

When trends ignore us

Trends are fun. They’re exciting. They give fashion its energy and movement.

But here’s the truth: not every trend is made for every body.

When oversized sleeves or super-cropped tops or ultra-low-rise pants dominate the stores, and they don’t flatter your shape, you start to feel like YOU are the problem.

But you’re not!

The problem is the system that decided style belongs only to certain bodies.

We need to flip the script: clothes should fit us, not the other way around.

So what do we do?

Let’s take a breath and reframe. Here are a few reminders I return to often, especially on days when that internal voice starts to whisper self-doubt:

Forgive yourself first

Feeling insecure when a trend doesn’t suit you doesn’t mean you’re shallow or broken. It means you’re human, living in a world that constantly sells you a narrow version of beauty.

Put your body at the center, not the trend

Trends come and go. Your body is your home. Choose pieces that feel good on you, not pieces that demand you hide, suck in, or squeeze.

Seek out real inspiration

Follow women who look like you. Women with lived-in bodies, not overly filtered faces. Women who express joy and confidence regardless of size or age. That’s real style.

Dress for yourself, not the algorithm

If it’s uncomfortable – leave it! If it’s itchy or tight or doesn’t let you breathe, it’s not your size or your fault. It’s simply the wrong garment for the right woman: you.

Fashion can empower, but it can also hurt

I still believe in fashion. I believe it can be a tool for healing, for expression, for celebration.

But like any powerful tool, it can be misused.

It can be turned into a weapon of comparison, self-doubt, and unrealistic standards.

The fashion industry has a responsibility to do better.

But we, as women, as mothers, daughters, professionals, artists, and everyday humans, we also have power.

We can choose what to buy.

We can demand inclusive sizing.

We can praise brands that show diversity.

And we can speak more gently to ourselves when we stand in front of the mirror.

That one magic outfit

I don’t need millions of clothes. I never did.

Even when I was a teen, I didn’t follow every trend; I just chose the right pieces. I mixed and matched them, created endless combinations, and let my creativity shine through.

It wasn’t about how many outfits I had.

It was about how they made me feel.

And the confidence they gave me? That was worth more than any fashion label.

That feeling, that little high five I gave myself in the mirror, is what I want every woman to feel, no matter her age, shape, or stage in life.

A final thought: you’re not the problem!

Next time you see a stunning shirt and your first thought is: "But I can’t wear that with my belly..."

Stop.

Close your eyes.

And remind yourself: your body is not the issue.

If the clothes don’t suit you, they are the ones that need to change! Not you.

You are not a trend.

You are not a size.

You are not a before or after.

You are a whole, beautiful, evolving woman.

And the right clothes will celebrate that, not shrink it.

Let’s use fashion to lift each other and ourselves.

Let’s dress like we deserve to take up space.

Because we do.