In the real world, they say that fairy tales do not exist. This is simply not true. When strong winds play with your hair as you’re sitting at a beach, when you finally reach the peak of a mountain that you’ve been climbing for days, when you swim underwater and experience the silence of the fishes, I know what they say is wrong. Fairytales do exist.

What they don’t add to this dull quote is that sometimes fairytales just aren’t enough for us. We don’t want the humble life. We want power, we want pleasure, we want all our ambitions fulfilled. No matter the cost, we want what our head sets a vision of. What they don’t add to this dull quote is that we don’t want the life of the “‘happily ever after’” fairy, we want the life of the “destined for self-destruction in the en”’ villain.

In ancient mythology, they say that humans are never alone, that even when they are secluded from every person in the world, they have spirits within their soul that have lived for millions of years. These spirits can be pure evil, cunningly wise, and also unconditionally loving. To navigate one’s path through life, the person must reach out to these wild ancestors. The ancestral mother knows that time is limited and what matters is not to gain power but to gain experiences and wisdom throughout one’s life. It’s not about “I have the most money, the most respect, the most status in a place,” it’s about “I know that true peace is out in nature. I know hatred is an inner shortcoming. I know that I cannot control most things. I must adapt so I can maintain my peace and not be desperately chasing an ambition that will leave me feeling drained in the end.”

When a person chooses to ignore their natural instincts and longings or is trapped in a surrounding for too long where they are unable to follow their heart freely, the person will become repressed and therefore, become a dangerous threat to themselves and to those who care for them. This repression will cause the person to look for other forms of comfort, like escapism through substances, alcohol, sexual addictions, and other self-harming behaviours. To them, this starts as an act of rebellion and a seeking of relief from the unbearable environment around them.

Sometimes the person’s instinctual mother kicks in, warns them of the abyss that lies ahead if they continue down the same spiral. But for others, the mother is too repressed, buried under the weight of a thousand painful memories that are turning to anger due to a lack of recognition. For them, the destruction becomes the pleasure. A habit. A relief. A way of life.

They become happily dissociated from reality and start living within a fantasy world in their mind. In the absence of love and warmth, they choose to completely abandon the notion of connecting with another human heart and start using other human bodies only for their physical satisfaction. Mentally, they are not in the same world as their lovers.

They are distant. They are numb. They exist outside their bodies, far into the depths of their mind.

All of humanity has an inbred fire within them, and this fire is not to prove one’s worth, hold one’s status, or take over the world. This fire is for adventure, for exploration, for art, and for creation itself. Yet when we exist in places where society has a strong hold over us, and everywhere we go, it is reputation that matters, we get stuck in a loop of routine. Then we feel justified in self-destruction because routine makes us feel as if we’re slowly decaying away, living the same life. We use self-destruction, sexual endeavours, and substances to extract pleasure and comfort in our time of routine dissatisfaction. What we truly seek is thrill, adventure, battles with our demons, and death itself.

To return to their quest of finding their ancestral mother, the person must force themselves into healthy adventures with the earth. The beauty of the earth isn’t just the easy scenery like the sky, the clouds, the stars at night, and the sandy beach nearby. The beauty is also in the terror of walking through a vast, never-ending, dark forest, swimming in the lake even when it scares you, and learning to love the thrill of your own company. To return to themselves, the person must return to the wilderness. To the emptiness. To the silence. To the peace of a beautiful life in the woods. Out of the noise of the city. Away from the whispers of the crowd. Out of their mind. Smiling with their heart as they embrace the reality of their present and the short time that they will be here, enjoying the earth with all their senses.

Listening to the melody of the birds, smelling the wind, seeing the greenery, the wild nature of the mountain, feeling the silence, feeling like you have no past, no future, feeling like you’re just a fool living a moment as you bow down to nature’s art.

To return to themselves, the person must escape their comfortable cage and become the wild adventurer away from the world’s gaze.