Unrefined sugar

Had attempted to trap the light in my heart, when
All my heart needed was to be washed under the lights of
Dark night.
Let the night eat
Away the loneliness nesting in my bone
Marrow. Slowly
Chewing away body,
The way my thoughts devoured mind.
An engine.
Trapped in the light washed under the dark rivers
Into miniature implosions within within within—
Along with all the keys the mortals forget they have within
each forget they have it all figured out out out of their
Mind, the blind kind—
Maligned and unrefined
Sugar is still sugar messing with your
Mind the
Gap the trap the collapse
Attempted to trap the light in my heart
Turned off all the blinds within skull.
I reached a human

Eating time

On a stomach full of regrets
I have eaten many weeks. In one gaping gulp.
Self— floating
Above body. Weak and rotten my
Will. To escape, give birth to new
Me through scalp. Instead I’ve birthed
Messes collapsing under
Debilitating stress, of survival,
Tsunami cost of living and
Other disasters of
Adulthood like marriage and nine to five
Five five— ad infinitum until skin crumbling,
Told myself to,
Stop mumbling, tumbling, rumbling—
Any -ing will do—

The black sun

If we could have given a mic to the heart, and
The ache and the shivering, withering heart could
Speak maybe. In rings of breaking glass.
All the shards left behind like the Hansel and Gretel
crumbs, marking the journey
All this silent destruction should be seen
And heard not felt. There should be grieving ceremonies
For the breaking hearts— all that catastrophe of aching
swept under the rug of the digital smiles pasted onto our faces anytime
We need to lie lie lie. And lie dead.
Need some breathing
Room for the heart, before it breaks again in the vacuum
Of false pretenses to protect and adapt and detach. And stop.
Being human. We. Have become so good.
At being robots, I am
Sure one day they will be the ones teaching us how to
Feel better instead of hiding and running and turning
Our heads away from the black sun. The bombs and the
Misery. Resting still. Charging.
Carving deep deep holes in our
Souls. Asleep.
Flatlining deep deep—

Rotting & roses

Roses dripping in blood orange
Eardrums humming an escape-song
In immortal transcendental hues.
Your sparkle cancel all tones and grays
And dark(s) you possess, like you possess
Me within your invisible ties and grasp/clad
Around my orange-juice pumping heart
Leaking all its sugar with melting damned time
Ready to escape into my subconscious stolen
From a wide-eyed dream stealing all sense
Away from my burdened disturbed blood-pumping
Organ, communicating to me in a sense of
Sped up time to show us our skeletons
rotting, dragging gray skin, in order to
Make us move mountains we’ve created in
Our heads to protect us from wild success.
Ivory teeth with tendons stuck in between—
Mind like an off spaghetti I cannot untangle—