Sun & ice

Under gold leaves falling towards a sky
Magnetic. I’ve fallen, like them,
Towards up up up— I flew because
You were a bird, a catastrophe and a
Song I was meant to hear for the rest
Of my mortality— I bloomed, kept
All flowers and ice together so we could
Freeze together in Frieze and burn our photos
Where I look grotesque and
Bad bad bad. Sit with me, for a little—
I have to tell you things of utmost
Importance like oil tanks or crypto-currency—
But no one hears it when the heart sings and
My words are filtered through an evil engineer’s
Brain looking for flaws— flaws and laws to enforce—
Hesitant, in despair, I am now falling towards
A cooling frowning sun, sending nukes to the
North Pole so I could find myself in a
Deeper mess then in my head’s world
Of gloom— stuck in denial & bane—

Collapsing skies & all

(Inspired by “of Mutability” by Jo Shapcott Hairless)

(Sex without touching bodies)

Eclipsing my heart this
dark heavy desire
A charcoal
Or some lava sitting
At the core
Of my craters
Marked by your
Piercing ice-eyes.
Comets I’d had
To befriend, keep
Sweet, so I could stay

Safe as sage in air.
Worked too hard for
A safe grave now I am a dancing

Aloof and head in a sky waiting
To collapse—
I wish I could take off
My head, occasionally
For some quiet— would have been
Quite the achievement,
being an animal
Relying on instincts and urges and weather read from
The clouds,
Not the applications that drive us
Galaxies away from our truth—
Brutal, turning us
Into cyborgs without bloody consent—

Sharks and flocks in brain’s aquarium

Swam through air full of vapor and poison,
I gladly replaced
With some music

Or instead I could have eaten music like some
Pink cotton candy, or men like air, or both—
My thoughts don’t get along as well as the
Sharks and the thornback rays and a flock of

Fish before they end up on a fancy dish with some
Perfection aroma. Wish humans captured
My wild thoughts and placed them in a dark blue
Aquarium so they could suffocate together, hit the
Glass walls, eat each other, leave me to myself—

Maybe then I could get to meet this self outside of the
Mirrors within skull rich in floating fish
Eating each other
Alive alive—

Caged in—

Maybe this old thing, this heart needed
Wrapped in gold soft cushions,
Never fell into the pit of
Uncertainty, with
Superheroes as parents,
Clipping my wings
So jumped hoping to
Levitate, instead
Hit the marble-sky for the first time
Mistaking the Truman Show decor
For the clouds I
Flew through
Buckled up in a metal tank, I tanked
Up up up in the air,
Lost all consciousness so I now only think in
Streams hectic and
Yet often

I am intimate with strangers
And a stranger to myself